What makes a Family...

If you ask any number of adults who go to church and live a "normal" life they will point a family is a man and women who get married, and have children. Some people may say we do not fit in such a family. Families can be shaken to the core with the slightest little effort. We do not fit into today's gender assigned roles because we know that our bodies are wrong, and are methods of fixing them are right, when in society's mind we are "perfect" the way we are and "god" (if you believe in one) made you that way.
The roles of family in my perspective and many other trans* people I have met is that yes there is blood family who may or may not except you, may or may not call you by your chosen name, may or may not use correct pronouns, but there is family that you make on your own. Ru Paul said it best at the season finale: us being the way we are.. we "get to choose our family" and those we keep "near" to us. Do you consider someone who publicly ridicules you and your life because you are trans* family? I did, worst mistake of my life, I tried to be there for this person and she completely made my life into her little joke. She even made fun of our Trans* sisters who are street workers because in her words "Its wrong for trannies to work the street like a normal woman." I went from calm cool and collected to a raving maniac when I seen that posted on facebook. I told her how disrespectful it was for her to use that term, and how she was disrespecting people who are my family. I got this as an email when I first came out. (the *** is my former name, this individual is one who refuses to change to see me as their male cousin) r u serious *** writing shit like that on fb to me like i dont care about what are never did ight i had to fight for you all high school my point was think of your family and gmom seeing that ... noone is embarased by u ok but you dont need to share the details with the whole fb
I have been since told that I am worthless, no good, a loser, and that I was dead, most of which came straight outta my fathers mouth. I lost my mother at the age of 5 but I know she would accept me for who I am because her cousins and some of her family have accepted me. I have a brother who does not dare ever speak my name that he knows me by because he does not want to listen to me as he has a cousin of ours that told every one on my mothers side that I was a junkie and trying to rob my grandfather. (I also have 2 half brothers that are younger than me)
I have 2 stepbrother -one dead(thankfully) and one who is alive and changing his ways daily. The one who died, had sexually assaulted me everyday from the age of 5 to the age of 8.The one who is alive, put me in an oven and was a member of the KKK. My grandmother had gotten me from a bad situation but it did not get easier than.I did not have a childhood. I was a book worm because I had to be. I wasn't allowed away from the house, I began to drink when I was very young because my uncle would give me Windsor Whiskey and I would chase it with water.
Is it family to watch you go down hill and not help? No. My family seen my troubles, seen how bad I was hurting, in 2008 and was on the street because of weed and coke use,and alcohol, I asked for help they wouldn't. It took one of my very best friends Austin to help me. He helped me clean myself off the coke, but the alcohol and weed were a daily thing for us.I was accused of stealing money from a friend Jay, and was kicked back out on the streets. I seen my father as I was standing on a corner with my stuff and not a place to go. He let me stay in his living room for about a month, I started working and he didn't like that I was not giving him my check as I was trying to save for a place of my own. He hit me with a crutch across my back and told me to never come back there again. I called a coworker that I had became great friends Anne and her roommate Keith, I asked if I could rent space from them because Anne had just gotten fired because Kmart was closing and they needed the help with rent. Thankfully a friend rescued me.
In 2010 I went to Norwalk, Ohio to meet Audrianna that I had become partners with online through myspace. Anne was holding my stuff because I was planning on only being 2 weeks. I was beat very badly out there by Audi (as she called herself.) I called my family from there and begged for help my uncle who got me drinking came but told me he could only help me with 50 dollars because he was going across the states for work and couldn't take me with him. My father and the rest of my family wouldn't help get me out of there. Audi took the 50 dollars my uncle gave me and snapped my cell phone in half. I used the neighbors phone to call Anne who at this time had to find a new place for my stuff and thankfully our friend Chance had taken it to keep it safe. Anne paid for the ticket to get me back to Philadelphia pa and than met me to take me back to norristown where we were living. It was hard traveling back around strangers after what had happened and I was crying because I didn't know if I was going to have a place to stay when I got back. I couldn't even be around people I did not know without Anne around for the longest time because I was scared and would have my back to the wall crying. Anne was like my sister. Chance was like my brother, when I got back he was one of the first people I had seen, when Anne took me to a bar to see if I could be around people.
In 2011 I had finally calmed down enough to try to start talking to people again. Amanda S. played me for a fool after meeting her online, Ashley H. and Anne had dated around the same time me and Amanda S. were, Ashley H. tried to be my friend when Amanda hurt me and when she felt it could be more she told me she dumped Anne for me. Well after a month or 2 I found out she was still dating anne while with me. They were playing games with my head. Finally after all the wasted time I found Beth, through Chance as a mutual friend on facebook and we hit it off well, except I fucked up in the beginning because I never thought it would work because there is an 11 year age difference and was thousand of miles between us(i think) I had cheated with a girl who was not worth it. Joanne... Beth found out and we have had our spouts about it and we have come out stronger because of it.
What I am trying to say with this long ramble is that I've shown what blood family can do for you and to you as well as what chosen family can do for you and to you. Beth and I are getting married, She supports all my transition and has helped out with my family issues.


--Jaxon--